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When Jeremy Bendat and Brandi Reed were planning their wedding in Los Angeles last year, there was one guest that was absolutely non-negotiable: their Bernedoodle Wallace. “We only sought out venues that were pet-friendly, and we knew that we wanted him to have a starring role in our photos and ceremony,” says Jeremy. Wallace was integral to not only their life, but also their engagement. For his proposal, Jeremy pretended to have something stuck in Wallace’s mouth, and when Brandi ran out to see what was wrong, that “something” was an engagement ring. Naturally, Brandi said yes and the rest, as they say, is history.
Many dog owners consider their pups to be equal members of the family, sharing in life’s adventures and there for support in good times and bad. So it should come as no surprise that couples would want to incorporate their furry best friends into one of the most important days of their life together. Including your dog in your wedding makes the day more special, but it does take some planning. “As soon as you are considering having a wedding, you should be taking those steps to assess and prepare your dog to give them the most chance for success,” says Michael Hill, a celebrity dog-trainer in Los Angeles. While the bulk of his business is more standard dog training, he’s increasingly getting requests to prepare dogs to attend weddings and to act as a handler for those dogs on the wedding day itself.
Hill knows it can be a lot to both understand and undertake the proper planning for incorporating your dog into your wedding on top of all of the other planning you’re already doing for the big day. To make it easier, he’s helped us outline steps to take, tips to remember, and pitfalls to avoid so your dog can be at your sides when you say ‘I do.’
Pre-Wedding Planning
Decide If Your Dog Should Attend
This one may sound like a no brainer but the first thing for you to ask is the most important question: should your dog actually be at the wedding? While it sounds adorable to have your pup walking down the aisle, it’s important to consider their temperament. If your dog gets anxious around large crowds or in unfamiliar environments, or if they have separation anxiety when you are away, a wedding might be more stressful than fun for them. It’s also important to consider the dog’s breed and size. “A larger dog who is less friendly with other people is not going to be easy to manage with crowds of a hundred strangers rushing them while their owners are highly emotional,” says Hill, “A chihuahua that can fit in your suit jacket might be a little easier.” Not all dogs are suited to the wedding environment, so ensure your pet can handle the hustle and bustle before including them in the festivities.
Figure Out Your Canine Vision
Once you’ve assessed whether your pet will be in the wedding, it’s important to make an informed decision as to what level of involvement you envision your dog will have within the day you have planned. Some may just want the dog showing up for the photos, sitting to watch the ceremony and then leaving. Others want the dog in attendance from the rehearsal dinner through the wedding party, including walking down the aisle and a performance on the dance floor. Says Hill, “It’s a spectrum of can your dog handle being at this event period? And if so, how much can they be involved?” Being honest about the answers to these questions will help ensure success.
Check Your Venue’s Pet Policy
Next, check your venue’s pet policy and confirm that they allows dogs. Jeremy and Brandi only looked for venues that accepted pets, but some people might not consider their dog’s presence until after they’ve booked. Some places welcome pets with open arms, while others have restrictions like leash requirements or vaccination records. Health code restrictions may prohibit animals from being inside buildings. Even if the venue allows dogs, consider whether it’s a good fit. Outdoor spaces are typically easier to navigate with pets, while formal ballrooms might pose more challenges.
Choose a Designated Handler
Finally, according to Hill it’s imperative you have someone who will act as a designated handler on the day. The bride and groom will have their hands full on their wedding day and really won’t be able to provide the dog with the level of care and attention required to make it’s participation a success. If leaning on a family member or friend, make sure they understand that the dog will be their responsibility for the full duration of the event and that they are ok with that. It is crucial to assign someone to handle doggy duty, ensuring that the individual is not already part of the wedding party to avoid additional stress.
Ideally, however, it might be better to hire an expert. Stephanie Janec and Sean Bowman knew they wanted to use Hill as their designated handler after using his training services previously. “After attending multiple weddings where family members were in charge of the bride and groom’s pets in addition to the chaos of the wedding day itself, we knew we wanted to approach it differently,” said Stephanie. In their minds it was a decision that paid off in spades. “Our wedding planner had experience with dogs at previous weddings, however this was their first experience with a hired dog handler versus a family member,” said Sean, “They even told us how impressed they were with [our dogs] Clara and Bailey’s behavior and could tell it reflected in the photos.” Added Stephanie, “An unexpected bonus of hiring a handler was how relaxed we were knowing that they were taken care of.”
Start Preparing Your Dog for the Big Day
If you do ultimately decide to include your dog in your wedding festivities, Hill advises that preparation and training should begin right away. The type of training all depends on what you’re expecting from your pup. If you’re wanting your dog to be in your photos, you’ll want to hold ‘sit and stay’ sessions, ideally in a busy environment with people around like a park and even practicing with the distractions of a photographer moving about and getting in close. If your dog is less confident, you’ll want to start getting them out in public spaces like shopping centers where there is a lot of noise, distraction, and people coming and going that mimics the energy of a wedding. Hill also highlights that for some dogs separation anxiety may be a real concern on the day of the wedding when your dog is out of your sight most of the time. If that’s an issue it must be solved before the wedding date.
If they’ll have a special role—like ring bearer—practice walking down the aisle so they’re comfortable when the big moment arrives. If you’re dressing your pup for the occasion, get them used to wearing accessories ahead of time. Whether it’s a bow tie, flower collar, or even a tiny tuxedo, let them wear it for short periods before the wedding so they won’t feel uncomfortable.
Things to Remember on Your Wedding Day
Plan for Dog-Friendly Transportation
Getting your dog to and from the wedding safely is just as important as having them there. It’s doubtful you’ll be the one taking the dog to and from the venue so make sure you have a comfortable and secure way to transport them. A well-ventilated crate or a car seat designed for dogs can help keep them safe and if your dog gets anxious in cars, don’t forget to provide their favorite blanket or toy to help them feel more at ease. Lastly, remember that a designated driver who hasn’t been drinking at the wedding is a must for the ride home.
Make Your Dog Comfortable During the Wedding Ceremony
Even the most social dogs need a break from the action. Set up a quiet, cozy area where they can relax away from the crowd and plan for meal and potty breaks and an appropriate and venue-approved place for them to relieve themselves. Hill stresses that it’s crucial to remember that dogs are more sensitive to the sun and heat than humans, especially breeds like Frenchies and anything with a heavy coat. He recommends having a cooling pad and portable water dispenser on hand, and limiting your dog’s time outside in general. For example, you might bring your dog out when it’s time for photos but then back into an air conditioned holding room until it’s needed again.
Including Your Furry Friends in Wedding Photos
Make sure your photographer knows in advance that your dog will be part of the photos. You can schedule a special session just for you and your pup before or after the ceremony to capture those perfect shots. Adding accessories like a floral collar or a cute sign (“My Humans Got Married!”) can make the photos even more adorable. Just keep some treats on hand to help your dog stay focused and happy!
Safety First
While you may adore your dog, not everyone is a pet person. Give your guests a heads-up that your pup will be attending, and be mindful of anyone with allergies or phobias. To keep things smooth, consider keeping your dog from interacting too much with all of the strange guests. “You might have the idea of, oh, it’s so cool to see my dog run down the aisle towards me,” Hill says, “but if your dog is off leash in a strange environment, you’re asking for trouble.”
Another major stressor for your dog that can create an unsafe environment is keeping your dog around for the more intense drinking and celebrating that may occur as the evening goes on. Hill reminds that dogs are very sensitive to changes in their owners’ personalities, especially within the environment of music, flashing lights, and lots of movement. He highly recommends that no matter how you incorporate your dog into the rest of the day, when the party starts it’s time for the dog to go home or to a comfortable and quiet safe space away from the festivities.
Have A Plan B and Know When to Pivot
In the time both leading up to the wedding ceremony as well as on the special day itself, Hill says your first responsibility is to your dog and their well-being. If the dog is struggling with their training for the big day, or if they are melting down in the actual wedding environment, you’ve got to respect the reality of that and change the plan. He advises, “No matter how much you might like the idea of your dog being in your ceremony and a part of everything, if they’re not the right fit for that situation, the kindest thing to do is to respect that and find ways to incorporate them in your relationship aside from your wedding.”
Hill says a great alternative is to incorporate your dog into your engagement photo shoot and display the photos during the reception festivities. You can also make custom designs featuring your dog for things like the cocktail napkins, cupcakes, or even a custom cake topper.
Final Thoughts on Dogs at Weddings
Including your dog in your wedding celebration can be a wonderful way to make the day even more special and meaningful. Concludes Hill, “The bottom line is for most people, their dog is a huge part of their world and it might even be their version of children or family. So if you can make it work, it’s awesome and special to have them be a part of it. You just also have to keep in mind their needs as well.”
